about a year after my wife Sandy died I made a friend here on dA. She lives in the USA, and we had a great deal in common. We made eachother laugh, we shared many interests, we got on pretty well.
She told me how she was in a loveless marriage, which she stayed in for the sake of her son, but she felt so trapped. As time passed, we realised there was more than just friendship there, we realised we were in love. Neither of us was looking for another relationship, but somehow we seemed perfect for eachother.
The plan was always that when her son reached 18, she would divorce her husband and we would marry, most likely with me moving over to the States.
This Monday, 3 and a half years after we opened up to eachother about our feelings, she ended the relationship between us.
Well, I had a long, sleepless, tearful and reflective night.
When I read the email, it was like losing Sandy all over again, except it's one thing to know you'll never speak to someone you love again because they're dead, and quite another to know that they're alive, but you'll never be able to contact them again.
I really thought after losing Sandy this another chance for eventual happines.
if she's ending this relationship because she wants to try and salvage her marriage (allbeit a loveless one by her account) and for the sake of her son, then I really have no grounds to complain. She told me the decision broke her heart, that she would aways love me. She said how she didn't expect, or in her opinion deserve forgiveness. There is nothing to forgive, my love for her means I wish her well, my heart is shattered, but I understand.
Because I love her, I want only her happiness, and if this choice makes her happy, if this choice is what is best for her and her son, then I'll let her go.
Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, doesn't mean I'm not heartbroken, but it's what's right.
so, goodbye my love, I wish you a long and happy life, may you find the peace you seek, may true happiness be yours.
Listening to: music